Of Shadows and the Sun

A small or rather insignificant event on my way to office today sparked a flurry of thoughts which soon developed into a full blown blizzard and set a snowball rolling which was getting bigger as it did so... let me come down to what really happened...


The morning today had a lazy undertone to it. I woke up a little late than I usually do and lingered on that steaming cup of tea for just a few extra minutes. So all in all I knew I wouldn’t have been able to board the bus which is my usual ride to office and I decided to ride on my scooter instead.

Its August end and it is monsoon time in this part of India. The sky is either supposed to be totally overcast or it should be pouring cats and dogs during this time of the year...although this year monsoon is carrying all the signs of an approaching famine. The sky was dotted with huge grey clouds but the Sun managed to pour its scorching heat on us lesser beings for most of time. There were moments of brief relief from the heat as the clouds covered the sun just about for a moment or few moments to be generous. While I was trying to manoeuvre my little ride through the clamour and chaos on the road the heat was becoming unbearable. I looked up at the sky and was hoping that a huge cloud should cover the sun and remain that way till I reached office. I then glanced back at the road ahead and lo and behold there was a patch of shadow just a few yards away. I was elated (prematurely as I look back) at the thought that ok just a few yards to go and I will end up in the shadow of that huge, kind, fluffy sweet cloud floating above me. As I continued to ride and was approaching the shadow..it was diminishing fast and moving away. I was trying my best to get to it and yet there it was moving away. At first because of the traffic I couldn’t speed up...and later when the road was open my little scooter’s speed was a limitation the wind started blowing and the shadow fast disappeared in front of me.

I was a little disappointed and realised that this was just a symbolic event that spoke of the story of many people’s lives...including mine. One faces lots of scorching days in life under stress and discomfort hoping to reach the shadow of happiness and contentedness. The shadow keeps on eluding him/her making the person continue enduring the hard times and still keeps the carrot dangling in front of the donkey.

There are situations in life where one can’t really control the adverse conditions or even an outcome of a long standing/meditated issue. In such situations one accepts what is offered and waits for the time where he hopes to have the control back from life. But wait is there really a time like that where an individual really controls all or most of what happens? It’s just another mirage is what I feel. Like when the road was all empty and all I had to do was race up my bike and get to the shadow, but once again life or the situation lets say mocked at me, made me realise that all the peace that I want is right there in front of me to grab yet I couldn’t because my ride wasn’t as powerful. So I either have to make peace with what life offers me or if I dare to choose and demand what I want, I have to keep on running behind the shadow called peace. Do I really or will I ever have a choice?

In numerous situations like these when we are either not in control or are in pseudo control, all we end up getting is despair and shattered hopes. Yet we keep on living, hoping against hope that one fine day, we will be in the shadow for good. Hope is the only thing that makes the donkeys run behind the dangling carrots. So is hoping right or wrong? I really don’t know the answer to this...food for more thought

Well I took a short break from running behind my very own dangling carrots..but now I have to get back as the hope and greed of digging my teeth into at least one of them is compelling 

Knight in Shining Armour!!

Time is ticking..
Still choosing what to wear
getting the right stuff in time..
has really become rear

Between strapping the shoes
And packing the lunch
Amidst all that
cannot find the key bunch

A book to read
And finding mobile charger
As the time grows short
The list grows longer

Closing all the windows
Turning off the lights
Still worrying what's missed
On the go breakfast bites

One glance at the wall clock
feels like gonna miss the bus
But a knight in shining armour
Is gifted enough to save us

He mounts his bike
Or gets behind the wheel
Smiles at your flushed face
As if its no big deal

Dodging all the hurdles
He puts the machine in top gear
Reaches the stop just in time
And saves the day for his dear!!

UP..Clos’ED’ and personal!!

Claustrophobia noun an abnormal fear of being in enclosed or narrow places.
This is the dictionary meaning of the word claustrophobia.. it is fear of the physical places which are enclosed or narrow for example an elevator or a narrow tunnel...
It is always said that we know and understand those things which we have experienced, better than those that we have heard about or witnessed as a bystander. I can’t agree more.. I recently discovered that I suffer from a case of acute claustrophobia… It was a realization that hit me real hard… as the claustrophobia was of type B. Now one might wonder is there really a claustrophobia type B? never heard of isn’t it? Now all of us have heard of hepatitis B, diabetes type B but never claustrophobia type B(sounds horrible too!! L ). Clinically…NO.. there is no type B for claustrophobia…but I have invented one to fit my case in.
In my type of claustrophobia it is not the physical, enclosed spaces that matter… I may be in a very spacious hall or in an open playground but that does not mean I will not feel the fear running up my spine. Then one might wonder what kind of claustrophobia is this?? Well I am scared of closeted minds and narrow outlook of people and society in general…there I have spilt the beans!!
I often come across people who have a closed mindset..never open to new ideas or for that matter even to suggestions that might be better that their own fixated ideas… this is still tolerable as long as they do not expect others to follow their notions. There are individuals who insist that the ideas that they have are a benchmark and all the lowly and otherwise useless beings should follow them like the word of the Bible. Such individuals restrict the growth of innovative/creative thinking ability of people around them. In a worst case scenario they give rise to minds just like their own, “CLOSED”.
It may be possible that not all people are aware of the fact that they have closed minds. Those who think highly of their thoughts and opinions can never be aware of their short comings(for those who can’t abide doing a certain thing in a different way than what they have been following, the mere idea that their ways and means “may” have a fault is farfetched..in fact totally unbelievable).
This closed mindset wears different cloaks in views of different individuals… for some it is tradition and custom. These folks will never change certain ways in which things are done even if it means more convenience for themselves…specially people who cover adamant and narrow mindset under the cloak of tradition and customs. If their own convenience does not matter to them then definitely it is their own choice…but insisting that things happen in what they see as the right way at the cost of inconvenience to others is taking things a bit too far. This is where my type of claustrophobia fits in.. I get restless and irritated and intolerant around such individuals who have such narrow outlooks that nothing matters to them but their own ideas. No individual or thing stands a chance against their notions, whims and fancies!

Like I mentioned earlier on if the ideas and notions are fixed and they do not expect other individuals to follow it still things can be a little better. But in most cases that is not what it is. If someone tries to change the way the things are…making it better in most cases…they are looked down upon and ridiculed just because the process does not fit in the so called set of rules. This happens mostly in case of traditions. E.g., in India Saturday is considered inauspicious day(Though for me this day is a boon as I work). Most people can’t even think of buying cooking oil or any leather articles on a Saturday, forget about starting anything new or conducting an auspicious Pooja!! The moment someone(mostly someone like me) points out the logical disconnect of such misconceptions the matriarchs of the house pounce on me with accusations of being too wise for my shoes and being disrespectful towards our culture and traditions…but for me it means more claustrophobic situation where I get suffocated and the end result is a huge argument where I have always been defeated till date.. J
I could go on and on about this topic and my fears but then how much ever I write it will still fall short to describe the feeling of fear that I experience… but all in all I am sure there are a lot of people who can relate to this and mostly agree with me that there has to be a change but the challenge of changing the unchangeable is the greatest!! Signing off!

Has been quite some time since I visited my blog...was either too busy or just wasnt in the mood...but better late than never...

Its funny isnt it..when I am not trying to write there are so many thoughts flying here and there in my mind.....but the moment I try to write they all flee and I write all crap here...i am unable to find a topic or anything creative to write...well thats the irony....

Silent Thoughts: My first blog...

Silent Thoughts: My first blog...: "Finally I have a blogspot...have been thinking of having one for quite some time. I was never in the habit of writing a daily diary so this ..."

My first blog...

Finally I have a blogspot...have been thinking of having one for quite some time. I was never in the habit of writing a daily diary so this blog won't contain daily entries but just a few thoughts here and there. Sometimes things that are clogged in deep recesses of your heart come rushing out when you sit with a pen and paper (Screen and keyboard now)....aaahh it feels gud to know that you have a place on the net where you can pen down your thoughts and opinions when you think there is no one to listen to you...now i know why blogging is addictive and where bloggers get their names....